I expect am not alone in this. It seems like I just get ” set in my ways” and managing when something else changes. Feeling ill for the last 3 days hasn’t helped. But still more rules and more adapting to be done is getting a bit disconcerting.

Constantly changing is easier when at least I feel capable.

I went shopping for a battery and some probiotic drinks this morning. It was a beautiful morning. If I had felt 100% I might have hung about and done some drawing on the way. I did stop on the way back and go for a coffee. It was so nice I didn’t want to go home straight away.

The battery was for a little machine which shines a red light up your nose and cures long term rhinitis or similar …..or maybe not. It wasn’t expensive so I thought I would give it a try as I have felt like I’ve had hay fever since February. It didn’t hurt and I only need to do it once a day.

Other than that nothing happened. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. That is the worst thing about feeling ill alone. There was no one to distract me….and I did try myself, reading, watching emergency tv series, cooking, sitting on doorstep with a cup of tea.

This is when not being special to anyone is noticeable.

However when I feel better I will likely be very happy to be independent and free. Hopefully by tomorrow afternoon at latest.

And then I can get back to painting or drawing again. That makes me feel special to myself.

And I suppose I will need to make another short term plan to deal with the latest changes. The virus seems to be spreading all over Basilicata. Not hundreds of cases but 1 or 2 cases in lots of places. I think there were nearly 50 new cases since yesterday.

Tomorrow it will be 3 years since James ‘s accident which led to his death. Maybe that is weighing on my mind.

By the end of this week hopefully I will be back to normal …whatever that is these days ..but living a day at a time, this hasn’t been one of the better ones.