Well, it’s now the 13th of February. James died on the 9th. I am so sad as he had always said he would live till he was 83 and I believed him . He was only 70. I spent the last month of his life with him….and saw things I wish I could unsee. Sepsis is horrible and he was already weak.
So now I am staying with friends and I go home to pisticci in a few days. Although we had not lived together for the last 2 years we were friends and then being with him when he was firstly helpless and then latterly very ill it changed things. I am heartbroken for him . For all the things he will now never do and see and experience and I am sad for myself because who will I tell things to and who will I share my bad side with.. ..
My life will be different from now on. In many ways it will be better. I have
learned that I can do so much more than I ever thought possible and I don’t know where or what I will be doing in the future. I never knew I had so many friends. I have experienced so much kindness .
The art course part of the last month has been amazing. It kept me going. I only had a pen and some watercolour s and then latterly when I was in james hospital room..I had children’s coloured pencils and I have discovered a whole new style of drawing. I also found so many art books in the secondhand market in parma which have been inspirational.
So now am still in reggio Emilia staying with friends because it seemed important not to rush away and I might have time for another 2 drawings ……
Miss you james.