I have been feeling a bit down recently. Two weeks of not sleeping, constant money worries, anniversary of James ‘s accident and the countdown to brexit are not helping.
My usual remedy which is to tell myself no one is trying to kill me and I not starving is harder to apply when I am just so tired that washing my hair is a big effort. Am pretty sure its partly psychological but my psyche is not listening when I tell it to buck up and stop feeling so sorry for itself.
However there must be a teeny tiny bit still trying because I made myself go out this morning. Have been staying home as that way I dont spend money.
Yesterday I painted a flower in a pot on the back wall of my other house to mark the anniversary of james ‘s accident. I was glad I did it and I just wanted to check out that it hadn’ t disappeared overnight or it looked horrible. It looked good and a guy who lives nearby told me that I should paint the whole wall with flowers. One is not enough. Went on my way smiling.
Decided to go up town and buy paracetamols.
On the way I met a good friend and realised that this friend was also having a tough time. She has been very kind to me and I was sad that she was having difficulties too. So sad that I hugged her. I am not a huggy person so it was a big deal. I don’ t know if it made her feel any better but it made me feel like I wasn’t alone.
So marched on up town feeling surprised at myself and went towards the farmacia where i saw a big poster for Pisticci ,Capital of Culture day , with my painting on it.
I am still so happy and surprised to see my paintings around.
Next I went in the farmacia and asked for paracetamols. It was the lady who used to not understand a word I said who served me but recently I have been speaking more clearly (I think) and now she understands me and that made me happy too. It’s always nice in the Farmacia.
After that I was in such a good mood that I decided to go for a coffee and the bar I went in had been all renovated and is looking lovely. The nice girl who works there asked if I liked the renovation and we got talking. She often asks me how my book is coming along and am sure she has no idea how much I appreciate this.
So I was sitting drinking my coffee and looking round when I noticed a picture with a familiar scene on the wall beside me. I remembered painting one just like it. I thought they must’ve put a photo of a similar scene up and it was only when I got up to go that I realised it was my painting in a white frame and looking much better than I remembered . I looked round and there was the other scene I did at the same time. I was so pleased and surprised.
Next stop was the supermarket where I bought a few things but not the magnums that I sometimes dream about. At the till the lovely girl who always says “good morning” and had seen me painting the flower on the wall yesterday said that it would be great if I painted more flowers
right to the end of the street then she would have something nice to look at. ( At least I thought that is what she said.)
I was in such a good mood by then that I bought a mars bar in a little shop and had a nice chat about high blood pressure. Having a chat in italian is always a good feeling .
To round things off nicely I met someone else who might bring a client round next week to talk about a commission.
Am home now and feeling as rich as a millionaire. The sun is shining. I have a mars bar. Maybe I will go later and paint another flower on the wall. A cactus I think.
Nothing has changed but everything has changed.
(Photos of some of the work I ‘ve been doing for an exhibition in a wine shop next month)