As it’s my birthday on sunday and I am having a birthday weekend I thought a day off to prepare might be a good idea. I don’t think I like the getting older part of a birthday. ( am not very mature about that either) And people who say ” it’s just a number” or ” you are as old as you feel” or ” it’s just another day” are not particularly helpful.

Because for one thing numbers matter. Next year’s number should theoretically mean I become a pensioner. A lot of the time I feel about 19 ( plus experience) but then I look at my hands and they are not remotely the hands of a 19 year old ….and no amount of anything will ever return them to how they were , and it’s not just another day…. it’s a special day when I was born and I am still alive…and hopefully still will be on Sunday. And as such I should mark it.

I remember my first birthday in Italy. It was my 50th. That was fun. I had only been here 6 months and everything was new. I had been a little worried that I would feel a little lonely so I didn’t tell James what I was doing but I messaged everyone on my phone saying something like ….tomorrow is my 50th birthday and I am having a wonderful time scootering up and down mountains, painting pictures and sunbathing…..but I might feel a little lonely tomorrow so if you have time please send me a birthday text. Thanks.

I remember that morning. My phone never stopped pinging with text after text. James couldn’t believe I was so popular. I didn’t mention what I had done, but shrugged nonchalantly.

In the afternoon there was a thunderstorm and I did some painting in my plastic studio made out of the hen run. The noise was incredible as torrential rain bounced off the roof. Then that evening we met friends and went to a restaurant which to our surprise had been opened especially for us. There was only one table set up in a room the size of a ballroom. There was no menu. I don’t remember how many courses we were brought . It was a fantastic meal and the most expensive one I have ever eaten.

It was completely unforgettable.

My next big birthday I went away by myself to a house in the country farther north in Basilicata . I wasn’t expecting anything special but I wanted to get away. I thought I was going to be by myself in a little house in the woods full of wild boars.

Instead I had the most wonderful time with the family who rented the house and had a fantastic adventure where I went riding and was chased by a wild stallion for several miles. That experience changed my attitude to myself and age …where I decided I was now a ” young older person” and could now have lots of adventures. I am still in touch with the family.

It has been a fairly miserable day weather-wise. Its pouring right now and apart from shopping I don’t seem to have done anything except watch more of Jonathon Yeo paint Brian Cox. Am enjoying that . And learning lots of science stuff too.

I treated myself to crisps for tonight. What a luxury! And must be careful as am drinking the nice ( but stronger) wine. Probably watch another 2 episodes of the australian cop show and see if the latest ” have I got news for you” is available. Nice relaxing night in……..