Being self employed or unemployed or semi retired or working to live but not living to work makes for a lot of freedom or choices, I think.

After having less choices for several months I am a bit curious as to how I chose what to do now. If I had an employer and worked 9-5 then I would have my day organised for me presumably but , as I don’t then I am responsible for deciding what to do all day long.

Have been a bit bored this afternoon which is why I am getting all philosophical.

But , it does bother me because for several months I didn’t have a whole lot of choices and it was like a bit of a holiday. ( for me….not for everyone)

Now that I have all this freedom I am back to deciding what to do with my life. Perhaps I should work something out soon.If it is possible.

I have always thought that when I sold my other house that then I would be free. I could paint what I wanted, work when I wanted and get another scooter and be free to go places and visit friends in the country and go to the beach. And go to the dentist and the doctor . And buy better quality paints and brushes and maybe even an Ipad.

And afford to rent somewhere good to have an exhibition where I charge reasonable prices because it doesn’t matter so much if I sell paintings.

When I came to Italy I was due to get a pension when I was 60 so I didn’t think that life would be quite so complicated. Though , to be fair, needing the money has spurred me on to paint more ( and improve) and saves me from sitting about wondering what to do with myself.

I suppose in some ways needing money gets me out….. but what was really interesting ( to me) was that when I couldn’t go out I painted some of the best things I have ever done, I had peace….I heard the cowbells, I saw my flowers bloom , I started this blog…….and more. So maybe there is a middle way.

CURIOUS…..

But now am free , so I went to begin my mural today and it went okay so far. Then I hung around all afternoon trying to think of something to do that would maybe be saleable. And how I should really push on and reread the ” book” I wrote and then decide what to do with it and I pottered about and did nothing except get more discouraged with myself for not being more outgoing, assertive, confident, harder working blah blah etc.

*********freedom!!!😕😕😕

However tomorrow is another day and one day at a time works most of the time.

Wine time thank goodness.