Being self employed or unemployed or semi retired or working to live but not living to work makes for a lot of freedom or choices, I think.
After having less choices for several months I am a bit curious as to how I chose what to do now. If I had an employer and worked 9-5 then I would have my day organised for me presumably but , as I don’t then I am responsible for deciding what to do all day long.
Have been a bit bored this afternoon which is why I am getting all philosophical.
But , it does bother me because for several months I didn’t have a whole lot of choices and it was like a bit of a holiday. ( for me….not for everyone)
Now that I have all this freedom I am back to deciding what to do with my life. Perhaps I should work something out soon.If it is possible.
I have always thought that when I sold my other house that then I would be free. I could paint what I wanted, work when I wanted and get another scooter and be free to go places and visit friends in the country and go to the beach. And go to the dentist and the doctor . And buy better quality paints and brushes and maybe even an Ipad.
And afford to rent somewhere good to have an exhibition where I charge reasonable prices because it doesn’t matter so much if I sell paintings.
When I came to Italy I was due to get a pension when I was 60 so I didn’t think that life would be quite so complicated. Though , to be fair, needing the money has spurred me on to paint more ( and improve) and saves me from sitting about wondering what to do with myself.
I suppose in some ways needing money gets me out….. but what was really interesting ( to me) was that when I couldn’t go out I painted some of the best things I have ever done, I had peace….I heard the cowbells, I saw my flowers bloom , I started this blog…….and more. So maybe there is a middle way.
But now am free , so I went to begin my mural today and it went okay so far. Then I hung around all afternoon trying to think of something to do that would maybe be saleable. And how I should really push on and reread the ” book” I wrote and then decide what to do with it and I pottered about and did nothing except get more discouraged with myself for not being more outgoing, assertive, confident, harder working blah blah etc.
However tomorrow is another day and one day at a time works most of the time.
Wine time thank goodness.