The ” truth”

As I wrote on twitter , having accidentally paid £85 for enhancements to this blog which I don’t know how to use yet then I have been wondering what to write. I thought that the best way to deal with this payment which I can’t afford was to make my blog ” work” and earn the money back. But I had no idea what to write.

However after seeing repeatedly on twitter the meeting of Boris Johnson with the father of a patient in hospital where he says that there is no press while looking at a camera, then I thought maybe being truthful would be something worth writing about. I dont mean the truth about brexit or politics or how to live a good life but just how it is right now to be living in the south of italy with not much money and being scared sick what will happen to me if brexit goes ahead.

What I find really frightening is all the lies and how after a while I just start to think it doesnt matter what anyone does… the liars with money and power will win.

I have american friends and this is how it has gone with Trump.

It seems like a long time since I believed in anything but maybe it’s time I did.

I don’t know much about politics or climate change or lots of things but I know what my life is like . I am an expert on that.

I often conpare myself to a refugee when I am feeling sorry for myself as no one tried to kill me , I am not actually starving and probably if I had to leave my home and life here because of brexit, my family would not let me starve therefore things could be worse.

But I am now I think having panic attacks and a lot of anxiety as i could lose my life here in

less than two months.

It doesn’t help that my family say… “don’t worry, its all scaremongering. ”

That’s the easy thing to say. No one knows what will happen. That’s the truth.

After a difficult couple of years including losing my ex partner who I spent 12 years with and who came with me to Italy I think I am finally getting myself together.

Am writing this tonight, admittedly after 3 glasses of wine , which may be too much but is at least affordable.

I think I might like to fight back.

I am tired of feeling helpless and sad and assuming that everything will only get worse.

There are lots of people worse off than me…

But I am me and being rather old… and still a bit vain about saying how old ( really trying to be truthful but there are limits!)

Then maybe I should start believing in the truth as I see it ….. even if no one reads it , it is still going to make me feel better.

My current plan is to enjoy my life as much as possible as that is a win win option.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with someone official. My Italian friend didnt understand what it was about. So it was not my lack of Italian that was a problem.

When I got the message I was scared. I didn’t understand it and immediately thought I must have done something wrong. I got really worried and anxious.

I still don’t know what it is about but have gone from paralysingly worried to curiously concerned.

I just can’t let the rest of my life be spent expecting the worst. Sometimes the worst will happen but what a waste of time it would be wasting time expecting it and not enjoying all the good stuff in between.

This year my motto has been ” curiously free” and I have been bloody annoyed that I have been obliged to use it so often. You would think that I had a right to a stress free life!

Will see if I can put the YouTube video of me advertising Pisticci on here as it doesnt feel right to write a blog with no illustration.

Drat! I think i will have to put it on separately as I don’t know know .. yet how to do that.😐😐

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