My theory is that I need a metaphorical skeleton to hold my shaky life together. And it needs to be something that I can hold onto while everything around me twirls and shakes.
Theoretically if I was a well balanced stable person then I think I should be able to stand still and let it all go by…..or maybe I am expecting too much of myself. I don’t know. I ‘ve never been in this situation before.
I have tried to tell myself that it’s okay to not do anything because I am tired or don’t feel so good. It will pass.
But what on earth do I do to while away the hours. ..waking up at 4.30am most mornings is not helping. By 9am I have run out of things to do……or things I want to do. I could spring clean….but why?
So there seems no alternative but to boss myself about.
There is no reason I can’t go up town and have a coffee outside, or go sit in the piazza and watch people go by. I could take the long way home and take some photos.
Writing something in the morning is always good. 5 minutes yoga. Breakfast on the doorstep.
Writing this blog is good. Puts things in perspective for the day.
I could have gone with a friend to the beach today. It would have meant sitting in the back of the car wearing a mask to get there and I couldn’t face it.
I want a hug.
Apart from a few ” illegal ” handshakes I have had no physical contact with anyone since March. My little cat , which isn’t really my cat, won’t let me near it. Ted ( my bear) is my only option.
It isn’t that I am a very huggy person. I’m not. But it just would have broken my heart today to go to the beach in these circumstances. Maybe that is an exaggeration…….I don’t know.
Anyways , have Ted sitting on my knee now and it is at least making me laugh. Probably tomorrow I will read this and think….what were you thinking!!!
But I still need some more plan to fill in the hours till next summer. …..
Thank goodness tomorrow is Monday. I hate Sundays….😐