It started this morning when I rushed out to take a photo of something because there was a blue sky. The light looked good on my house and street so I took several photos. When I was cropping one to share I noticed how my little house with its flower painted walls looked a little like an illustration from a children’s fairy tale book. It got me thinking.
My first ever blog was called ” my life as a story” . I couldn’t believe I was actually living this life so it made it easier to look at it from a distance.
However it’s not just that ,but it is , if I remember correctly, part of personal construct psychology to assume that everyone has a story that they tell themselves about who they are and what they are doing with their lives. And mental wellness results when that story fits and makes them happy.
That might not be quite how it is, but the point of it was that it depended on what story you told yourself whether you were happy or not. And as life is all seen from your very personal point of view who is to say what is real or not. ( within obvious limits)
So I began to remember how much fun I had as ” Anne the artist, living in a beautiful little hilltop village in the south of Italy, riding a scooter and having lots of little adventures, wearing red lipstick and interesting colourful arty clothes and painting the people and places around there. “
I think my story started to change after James died ,brexit and then the long term effects of very low income and pandemic didn’t help either.
It may have been noticeable particularly recently as I feel I have been writing ponderous posts of pervading pensionless poverty and poor me. ( sorry, got a bit carried away there.)
There is another story though. Just as “real ” as the other one.
I am still Anne the artist. I am still living in a beautiful hill top village and painting even more than before and trying lots of new things. I am still having little adventures.(slightly but not completely curtailed by the virus) I have survived this far and sold my other house so I have enough money to live on carefully for several years, and I’ve learned how little I actually need. I have a wardrobe of interesting clothes which I am capable of converting into even more arty clothes if I feel like it, and if I really want another scooter I will find the money somehow and get one . After all I have paid for plumbing, dentistry,WiFi and electrical work with paintings.
And I live in a fantastic little house where the cracks and broken plaster and floors have been made beautiful disguised as climbing plants, windows, cupboards, tiles and woodwork….. all painted by me .
It’s time to tell myself a new story. Even if for a day ,but hopefully longer .
That has really cheered me up and now it’s wine time.
As its so cold I am not starting my next piece of work until at least Thursday as it’s outside. And just 5 minutes ago I got another commission which I am looking forward to doing.