How do you carry on when hardly anyone believes you can make it?
Every time I return to my roots I am confronted by kindly negativity which though well meant makes me feel like I am some sort of deluded fool. ( this may of course be true)
However I once read a quote from Harley Brown , who writes in the international artist, something along the lines of , an artist starting out needs crazed self belief. And after years of feeling so un confident that I thought people bought my paintings for the frames, I have finally arrived at my version of crazed self belief. And I like it.
It gets me up in the morning , ready to go. It keeps me going when I am down to my last 100 euros. I t makes me feel that I am doing something important, that will last. that I am contributing something to society. That I matter and what I am doing has an impact on other people.
(my grand daughter who is here and been looking at my recent paintings, just said “Grannyannie I think you are the best painter in the world.” obviously she has great taste and discrimination and so what if she is a little prejudiced, its like food for my soul.)
But back to the point how does a person hold on to this belief in the face of apparent common sense advice to give up and get into the real world.
Well I think that what I need to do, and am doing is ;
1. search for and keep in touch with the few people brave enough to say , go for it.
2. hold on to and treasure all the positive comments, experiences and times when I have succeeded in what I aimed for.
3. every week count up all the things I have acheived and give myself credit for carrying on.
4. and finally , remind myself that I have done more than I ever thought I could and it has been hard but so incredibly rewarding . therefore I owe it to myself to see what else I can do.