Its a year tomorrow since james died. Its been quite a year.
There has still been no funeral and all the contents of his house and garden have been disposed of illegally. ( that is the polite short version)
Because we were not llving together any longer i have no legal standing.
However james always expected it would be this way.
On the other hand i decided that this last year i would treat his memory with respect and do my best to make a good ending.
So I ‘ve made little sculptures of him. One rather wobbly one of him playing guitar and some others. Ive looked out my favourite photos of him and us. I arranged a little ceremony on the beach with friends to say goodbye . I have written 45,000 words so far of a book about our lives here. And i have lived life like there was no tomorrow .. as much as i could.
I went back to parma where he was in hospital and then died . I visited the crematorium where he was eventually cremated all by himself with nobody there. Because no one was told.
And finally i have painted probably the best portrait of my life ( so far) of james sitting in my old studio looking like ” just james”. Im sorry he won’t
see it …he d probably say i made him look too old, cause he always did.
I am so grateful to him for always encouraging me to keep painting. I would never have got this far without him.
I dont know what will happen this year but i am looking forward to seeing what adventures are next.
( the portrait is 100x125cms . Biggest i have ever painted……i have the next big one planned…looking forward to it.)