Am all in a whirl. Something amazing might have happened, but am not saying till I am sure.
It was being a a bit of a depressing day. More than sombre. Maybe all the unremitting bad world news is getting to me, or it being all saints day followed by day of the dead was making me think of all the people in my family who have died. And then I was worried about my inability to earn money, combined with having sensitive teeth, needing filled, and wondering if there is actually anything I can eat any longer that won’t be a problem. And I seemed to be tired for no reason. I had no plan for this week coming and had lost faith in being able to sell anything even if I did have a sale.
I spent the morning reading and not much else.
For some of the time I sat on the doorstep and listening to beautiful music coming from the church.
(There is more music now. It is almost dark and very atmospheric. It’s hard to describe how it feels other than being in an old film with the music as the soundtrack. )
Then I ” bravely” checked my bank account and discovered if I was very very careful I could manage till the spring, assuming no unexpected bills and needing to go to the dentist.
After lunch I made a half hearted effort to walk up the brick road and finish yesterday’s drawing. But it really was too hot and I turned back.
On the way back I got a phone call and decided to answer it. If I don’t know the number sometimes I just leave it.
And it was about the potential amazing thing.
So now I am sitting here feeling both sad and happy. It could be the end and the beginning …… or nothing at all.
I can hear the church music quite clearly even though the door is closed. It suits my mood.
Than goodness it’s Monday tomorrow.