I think it’s possible that’s what I did when I was small. It’s not the best way to deal with problems, but when I was only 3 how was I supposed to know that.

Unfortunately it still seems to be my default reaction to dificulties. And being trapped by a virus for nearly a year now, and before that lack of money I would like to say in a pious voice that “I am learning to stay and deal with problems,” but I feel more like shrieking ” let me out of here ” and heading for the hills or anywhere.

In fact , in a very grumpy , huffy voice I am more likely saying , “okay , so even if I had enough money , there was no virus and I had a little shack ( with the internet )on a beach in a hurricane free tropical island, I would still be me. “

Huh ! So guess who was awake at 4am again.

I think it would be better if there were two of me. One who did the ordinary stuff and enjoyed blue skies and painted and wrote and laughed…and the other one who stepped up during viruses and house selling and darn document affairs and water bills and took over temporarily in an organised fashion and was good at saying to the other Anne, ” chill dear , it’ll probably be okay and if it’s not we’ll manage. “

I have had better days.

Thank goodness for friends. One is making a phone call for me. The other one spent time with me and brought lovely Christmas stuff.

Outside it is cold and stormy and the forecast is for rain tomorrow. Inside I am sitting at my nice painted desk next to the stove.

It has always helped me to write things down.

Friday wine time now. 🍷🍷