I was working on my 5th small practice portrait this week and I still can’t understand how I don’t know what to do. You would think that after 25 years I would have a plan or a system, and I do know some things , but every time I begin I know that every face, expression , angle is different and just because somehow I managed to struggle my way to paint the previous one doesn’t mean I have a clue about how to start the next one.
And what is worse is that a large part of my self esteem is dependent on being able to paint. Portraits are what I want to succeed in .
This afternoon I struggled to get going and eventually I painted out the eyes and after a short break began again. This time for some reason I found some confidence and with a few strokes , put the eyes in exactly the right place
What a relief. I became an okay person again and not a failure and all was well with my day which went from being terrible to absolutely fine
Have now been out doing my first guided tour of the painted benches and the big mural.
Got another commission on the way.
Sitting on doorstep with a glass of wine now. Wondering if Brutto will drop by.