That would be me ….not the timid little deaf cat who comes for breakfast every morning. It’s getting braver and doesn’t immediately run away when I come near. In fact I am much kinder to the little cat than I was to myself today.
I was meant to be starting the second of 3 portraits that I planned to do on my new tablet using the same app as for the first one. I was rather unconfidently faffing about when weird strokes started appearing on the screen. At first I thought it was me doing it, but I don’t know what was actually happening. I stopped and deleted the whole thing.
“Obviously”, I said to myself ” It is because this is a crap app and if I was a good artist I would have earned enough money to buy a better tablet on which I could download better apps and would not be having this problem ….” There were several other things I thought as well …but …. really the problem is I am basically just scared.
Scared of so many things, real and imagined.
I read somewhere that someone had said that they were feeling much more confident….and the person they were speaking to said that what they were experiencing was actually the” absence of fear.” Or words similar to that.
I wish I had remembered that earlier.
However I found yet another app and in a temporary spirit of braveness ( if there is such a thing) I decided I will work things out. I can learn to use what I have even if it is a little complicated. There will be a way. ( I fondly imagine that is how brave people think) 😀
Anyways enough of that. What about my nice walk through Pisticci today. Now that everyone is wearing masks it actually feels more friendly. It is perfectly possible to smile with your eyes.( though not while wearing sunglasses!) and there doesn’t seem the need to cross the road to avoid people like in the summer. . I even stopped for a coffee on the way back at the only cafe where you can sit outside. I have enough small change in tins at home to go for coffee as often as I like and sitting outside is as safe as it gets.
On the way home I met someone I knew from when I first arrived here. That was nice.
I was so cheered up that I washed my masks, hung them up behind the stove to dry , made 2 more and fixed another two so that I have a nice selection to chose from when I go out.
I had forgotten about the “absence of fear”. I used it as a sort of mantra last year and it got me past several scary events. Glad I remembered that.
Now the stove is on and it’s cosy and nice in my house. I drew my coffee pot this morning and put it on Redbubble.com so have something to show for today. .Has been an okay day really …..