Two things came together today.
I read an article on depression where I understood it to say that having depression was like living in an alternative universe. ( this was my understanding of it…. it may have meant something completely different. )
The second thing happened when I was replying to a friend’s message and I said I had been scared since the brexit vote.
I was probably always a very scared or timid person , but it definitely got a lot worse due to brexit.
However it occurred to me that maybe I live in an alternative scary world.
Maybe there is another world.
I could write an endless list of the things I am scared of. In fact there is very little I am not afraid of. I just thought that was normal and it gave me lots of opportunities to be brave.
Perhaps that’s why I am often tired.
Then while I was cleaning the stove I wondered what my life would be like if I told myself that ” scarediness ” was just like a rash and didn’t stop me doing anything, but was merely an irritation.
And what if I side stepped into a world where lots of things were possible and scarediness wasn’t holding me back
Wouldn’t that be fun…….
Not that I would expect to suddenly turn into a bold adventurous person , but just now and again I could go into that alternative world …….
While I wasn’t thinking deep and meaningful thoughts I was carrying on with my latest portrait which is now nearly finished.
After a virtually sleepless night I was quite pleased with the amount of work I did. And having picked up a” Broons ” book in the middle of the night I’m looking forward to reading some more of it tonight. (It’s a Scottish cartoon series. )
Wine time now. Cheers 🍷🍷