Another day has passed. What can I say. I spent too much time on the Internet looking at what is happening in the uk and feeling hopeless. Then reading that people might have nothing to eat in the south of Italy because of the lockdown. Not very cheerful. It might be that the after effects are as damagjng ( if not fatal) as the virus.
However today for the first time this week my writing felt better. I figured that if I was bored writing then people would be bored reading but today I got interested again. It’s getting near the end now. And then what will I do with it……..
I was thinking that I am enjoying not going out. I am not sure that it would be good for me to always live like this but it’s quite nice to be encouraged to stay home. No need to make myself go out incase I get all peculiar. That is 25 days now and I don’t feel very peculiar. Interesting!
I am a bit stressed about my painting. That has very little to do with staying home. I think maybe I am a masochist. I hate painting a lot of the time. And then when I reach a certain stage or something appears as if by magic . Then I love it. A lot of the time I have to make myself do it. I like my ideas but the execution is just so boring. Splish, splosh, and the paint goes in the wrong place or its the wrong colour and now its dripping down onto another bit. My paintbrushes are rubbish and the paint won’t sort of glide along like I want it to. Then I step back and see my chair appear out of this mess and the red curtain which I quite enjoyed going splish splosh fuckety splosh with no particular care is the best bit in the whole painting so far. What can I say. Suddenly I am amazing. I did that. ( I don’t really understand how ) but maybe it will be what I want it to be yet…. if I just hang in there.
A practical thing that did help today was that I ordered more white paint as eking it out only added to the misery. I have enough to finish this but not enough to do all 3.
So now it’s wine time . I spent, in my opinion, too much time lying about reading a book on my kindle today but in all it has been reasonably satisfactory. A day at a time. A day at a time…..