I think that my brain turns to mush when I am worried which is really quite mean of it! It’s bad enough feeling worried without thinking your brain won’t work as well. It usually happens when I need to do things or make plans. I spend a lot of time tricking my brain into believing that whatever I am doing isn’t important. Obviously if I am doing something important then I am prone to getting a little anxious or even concerned. I don’t know why my brain doesn’t like me…….

Today, I thought should be a day of planning and portrait. BIG MISTAKE. I should have decided to read all day.

By 11am I had started to edit last week’s writing, given up and then started something else and given that up too. Then I did take a very nice photo of raindrops on my roses and had time to wonder if radio 2 was delibrately playing more cheerful upbeat music to jolly people up , inbetween awful tearjerking things like little children singing ” over the rainbow” and poets reading poems about all helping each other and being nice.

My brain perked up when a friend phoned and behaved in a very sensible fashion. By then it was lunch time. What a relief!

After lunch rather than start my portrait I decided that I needed a close up of my face . I tried with the camera and timer but because I have forgotten how to enlarge the photos on the screen I had to keep plugging the camera into the laptop. I decided a siesta was in order.

After that I tried using my phone. Selfies are no use as I am sure that they distort my face. ( really!) So I used the bathroom mirror and after about 20 photos I finally found one that made me look a little bit interesting and not completely vacant or stupid. I want to look as interesting as James in his portrait, but I don’t think that is going to happen. .

Having got that far I printed out the best photo of myself which I took previously when I was sitting in front of the flowers.

Then I had to do arithmetic and with a mushy brain , that is difficult. My canvas and my photo were different proportions and I needed to make them fit. Otherwise I would look fat or skinny depending on whatever way it was. I have messed up a lot of paintings by not taking care of this.

But I am pleased to say that I did it. And to check it would look ok I added extra paper at both sides and then extended the photo using coloured pencils..

So that was one thing completed.

Last night after I had stopped listening to Phantom of the Opera with headphones on because I felt I was being dragged into the darkness and no one would be saving me, I got a message to say there was a parcel for me round at my neighbours house.

It was white paint, watercolour paper and cranberry pills. All in the same box. Not complaining…. just surprised. So now I can do 50 postcard sized watercolours and maybe sell them online. But not until I am allowed to go to the next town to post them. I have a plan to make sure there are no corona germs on them.

Today there were no cases of the virus in Basilicata. Apparently, confirmed by a friend, Basilicata may be opened up first as a kind of experiment. Not sure I want to be part of an experiment.

I am planning to block out my house on AIRBNB for the rest of this year so that no one can book. I don’t want the responsibility. As it’s possible no one can travel in Italy this summer at least ,then I probably would not get any bookings anyways. I would still sell it. But I am not going to rent it out.

Its been grey and drippy all day . But not cold. However its winetime. And despite my mushy brain I have achieved more than I thought I would.

And I have just remembered I have olives left…… hurray!

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